This program opens with a bus full of Highland 50’s jumpered kids on a bus, pretty good so far :) at least unlike … “Doctor Who”, the progenator of this abortwood foetus, it didn’t attempt to paint multi ethnicity back further than is realistic, into our history, for the sake of not offending viewers with a bus full of white children … heaven forbid. From this high point the show gets worse by turns, its definately aimed at pre-pubescant idiots, these staring modern overweight podgy unexcercised child actors trying to do a poor “Midwich Cuckoos” impression, really puts me off my tea, but then on the other hand the adult acting is barely beyond pubescant, because most adults today have been groomed to be overconsuming oversize monetarist children, with about as much depth as a puddle, so no wonder the acting is so artificial, that anglo american theme of plastic acting and bloated amplified plot seems to run throughout. This is more “Torcherouswood” or “Abortwood” than entertaining. Why is the TV license tax paying for this forced multi-cultural paint by numbers actors benefits club ? The plot is so obscene, all children in the world stop and do a excorcist impression, and it’s not in the mainstream media ?!!? wtf
Even the Midwich Cuckoos didn’t try and push the concept of the all the children in the world being affected. I mean at least try and put some believe-able elements in the story, its the over-inflated distended nature of everything they do, its so childish and american, And the main actor bringing his sexuality into the show, promoting man couples to the youth of today, really makes you want to vomit. The Rupesh recruitment scene is vomit worthy, the welsh loud gwen totty reinforcing the idea of a big paycheck, being such a laudable quality in a “childrens show” ? well I guess people who work in the media wouldn’t be able to filter that one, from a moral perspective.
I wish we could get eisenhower to interject with some sane view here, about the unchecked “military industrial complex” such as torchwood really represents a large promotion of, to the minds of the young. Who can only be the target audience of this show. Though I fear like Harry Potter and Northern Lights this shit is aimed at the new sector of the public we’ve been breeding over the last 20 years, who are somewhere between adults and children, but are most often actually between 20 and 50 years old. Rupesh spouting “it’s alright, it’s alright, im a doctor” when all the kids in the world scream, as if that line means anything much anymore. The only realistic lines might be the accurate portrayal of an ineffectual civil service saying things like “can we leave it for now”, “can you set up an auto reply”, “hes not seeing anyone at the moment”, “i dont know who that it is, im new”.
The welsh actress Gwen Cooper seems to be prostituting her welsh accent for cash here as hard as Ruth Jones with her tongue in her cheek, who at least recognises she’s making comedy, surely they can get better welsh actors than this ? or perhaps no respectable actor would touch this show, Oh and the portrayal of the bumbling boob of a welsh hubbie.
Jack harkness being an immortal Gay and being a dad as well as in a gay relationship with the second lead straight man, bent by supergays powers of attraction ?, surely that is every gay mans internal fantasy acted out right there, the ever youthfull immortal gay super man, who also has been a dad and married and has kids hes not responsible for. I didn’t realise it was the responsibility of writers to attempt to fill out the character fantasy of the actors themselves.
Some of the episode specific actors do a better job than the main actors in this episode, though most of them look like they really need the money, and are doing this twoddle to pay the bills. Though they’re deliberatley padding out, what should basically be a 1 hour drama distended into a five parter for gods sake, using allot of personal interplay scenes and romance subplots no sane individual could give a shit for, of the same kind of quality as that other great BBC british soap manure pile designed for the daytime TV morons of the UK “Doctors”. Jeesh well episode one is over, and all I could do is force my way through it, so as to extract the maximum sneer-joy from the grotesue abomination this is.
No doubt Jack Harkness Supergay will after being blown up, somehow return to torture us next episode, as I doubt he can get work elsewhere, and the beeb couldn’t unemploy the immortal fucker, otherwise they’d appear to be discriminatory or something, its probably just easier for them to keep giving him, his own show like this.
Verdict nil pois : if you are over 9 years old, you are not allowed to watch this immature rubbish, you should by all rights have grown beyond it by now, and if you are watching it, your merely trying to cling to some childish immaturity for the sake of it.