more c**ts for the list of c**ts website im going to do one non existent day

Hi … Gary Southalls the name
being a pointless asshole the game.
I like ripping people off, who park in the street
I use abusive and threatening language a treat

that will be £375 lady, on the spot in cash
I dont care if its bringing you out in a rash !
look frail old biddy just gimme the money
and i’ll wink as I drive off and say “cheers honey !”
sorry I really can’t give you any receipt
its against my personal code … of tax deceit

I’ve got many friends who though not bankers
are really perfectly equivalent wankers
we apply primitive locks to yo wheels with which you may not legally tamper
we really quite perverted and love to live the life, of the “rip off” clamper

sadly were definately part, of a new unlicensed, outsourced criminal crusade
against you the driver, the 70’s road loving governments encouraging made
beeching made the cuts, to aid his friend mcalpine, build the new roads
but more lanes will never sate, the unending desire for increased loads
and were the loosed tool of the governments latest philosophical retort
thats supposed to bludgeon you, out of your car and into public transport

because parking now is like solving a mathematic equational feat
or a game of musical chairs in which there is never a free seat
so you must now learn to lose and always pay
or master to park the extremely stressful way

I make fictional phone calls to towaway trucks that really don’t exist
whilst taking unjust fines, from people who are seriously pissed
so many are cheering my sentence, I know I wont be missed

I tried to pay my fine with 150,000 pence
because I think my intellect is so immense
I got confused, I thought I was really clever
but actually I’m two planks short of half a trevor

people sadly afflicted with dibilitating leprosy
are ten times more societally popular than me
if your possibly thinking of clamping as a suitable profession
remember your friends will recede & enter a deep depression

now here I languish, a fool in jail
even the prisoners think, i’m a terrible fail
hopefully this the end, of my torrid tale