letter to help@macuser.couk
——————————————————————————————————————-
Since I couldn’t find a general communique address re : errata:

Dear respected Oakley, clip Hemphill on the ear for me would you, it appears a wire was loose in his brain, or … your spell checker is graphical terminology obsessed, or perhaps the days of magazines, affording proof readers, that are technically literate in the content they are checking, is a thing of publishing pre-history ? Or might the freelancer be blamed (wink) ?

In the “arrested development article” published in the most recent Macuser Vol 26, issue 01, page 17 – > The acronym GPL appears to have been substitued for GPU at every turn, making for a rather inaccurate confusing and jarring article, that is disseminating noise rather than accuracy, not what the readership pay for, as you the ‘doyen of accurate information’ know only to well Mr Oakley. Perhaps Mr Hemphill needs to cease the arrestment of his development :) rise from behind that hill of hemp embedded in his name, and search for a buddy to cross vet his journalistic output … forthwith.

normally I do not rise to the various errata I have discovered over the years of reading Macuser, after all, we are all, but poor frail human beans. Or write, re my sometimes disdain, for Macusers sometime non technical reviewing style : five mice ! as a way of determining a product suitability ? five graduations of better mouseness ?… really … please ? ;) but this “GPL GPU” gate business, has raised my hackles to such an extent, I have risen from my youtube enduced browsing coma, to write this absurdly over wrought eccentric email rant.

suitable punishments :

so … its either … a clip on the ear for Mr hemphill (no doubt, red already ? ) perhaps a black mark will suffice ?

a clip on the ear for the proof reader concerned, a black mark, could also … suffice here ?

or a harsh and pointless, verbal bollocking … in front of all staff … for the non sentient … spell checkers/voice recognition softwares shortcomings as a functional dictionary ? which personally, is my favourite interactional relationship model with machines, with coaxing…cooing…enticement, running a close and alternating second.

Perhaps punishment involving a weeks worth of tea making, for all dennis staff, including perhaps flasks of tea left out for cleaners ? would also be a suitable form of recompense (perhaps such a penal system already exists ? please inform me of the details ?) or is it sadly, such a horribly modern office, that no such old fashioned systems are in place, a macuser cane, perhaps a five marks and your out, black mouse spot tattoo on the hand system, to make sure that duffers cannot rise to the very top (such as they sadly appear to, in all forms of government and bureaucracy today)

though with home working now the norm, im sure … the idea within my imagination, of a bustling, tea making, macuser editorial office , is probably a fictitious dream ? the reality being – a kind of corridor, in which temporary meetings are convened by fag weezing freelance hacks, lost of almost all belief or reason, perhaps I go to far in this dystopian view.(this vision of mine i think was founded when shaar murray was still about and writing) perhaps you could satisfy me with a photo of the macuser offices, skulking staff included > for my blog ? :)

we all have an ‘off day’ and most of us … never here the end of it. But it is these dark braided ribbings, that make us all stronger in the end … possibly ? … or perhaps … just driving us further towards depression ?

I assume a correctional amendment, will be made in the next edition ?

When Macuser enters the … fully “digital age”, I suppose I’ll be able to download an endless parade of updates, for my DRM copy of macuser to fix such errata, but until such times, the static medium of print will remain such a physically harsh and unforgiving mistress.

You could of course inform Mr hemphill, his services are no longer required, on the basis, your in email correspondence with a guy who’d be happy of the work, whos apple experience goes back to the Apple II europlus pre mac days, and when the internet was an activity involving telneting prior to the development of the the NCSA’s “mosaic browser”. (LOL only joking kenny)

a hill of hemp…now theres a thought ?

keep up the good~ish work :)

yours cordially

a sub – ordinate – scriber, awaiting your general lack of response

d morgan

(ps : it appears brevity is not my strong point)